For those of you new to astrology looking for some resources, here's a list of some useful sites and books :)
www.cafeastrology.com
www.astro-horoscopes.com
www.astro.com
http://www.achernar.btinternet.co.uk/fm.html
http://mountainastrologer.com/tma/tma-this-week
Astrology: Understanding the Birth Chart, by Kevin Burk
Astrological Relationship Handbook, by Kevin Burk
Sun Signs, by Linda Goodman
Love Signs, by Linda Goodman
House of the Horoscope, by Bill Herbst
Planets in Synastry, by E.W. Neville
The Twelve Houses, by Howard Sasportas
Power of the Midheaven, by Stephanie Jean Clement
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Earth-bound
It's not until recently that I've noticed a pattern in the sign element that I consistently attract: Earth. This consistency is stranger still because I'm usually fairly inebriated when I approach, or am approached by, dance partners. The Earth elements that I romantically vibe with are overwhelmingly Virgos, and one time a Taurus. They have been very outgoing, sometimes flamboyant guys, very much unlike typical Earth energy. Though I'm realizing now that it's not necessarily the Earth energy that's making us spark, it's the other Fire placements in their charts - Sag Moon, Venus/Merc in Leo, Leo Moon, Aries Moon etc.
This is not surprising since I'm a Fire sign and have my DC on Sag. In fact, the two long-term relationships I've had have been with Sag men, two short-term romantic links were also with Sag's, and one was with a Pisces with a Sag Moon. For me, Aries men tend to be too aggressively masculine yet also too sensitive, Leos too show-offy, but can a long-term relationship work with a fire-infused Virgo or Taurus? I've had two short-term relationships with men whose Suns are in each of these signs; the Taurus with a Leo Moon was a much better match for me than the Virgo with an Aries Moon, though both were a pleasing blend of comforting stability and passionate adventurism. Both were also Hispanic, so I'm sort of wondering if this made a difference en la conexión ;)
+Le+Printemps.jpg)
So looking at my chart, what makes me likely to attract or desire earthy men? For one, I only have one planet in an Earth sign, my Mercury in Capricorn. Dating a Virgo or Taurus would balance out this deficit in my life. The Virgo energy also makes a connection with my Gemini Ascendant, both being ruled by Mercury (and mine's in an Earth sign, Cap and in my 7th house of partnerships). Mental chemistry is tremendously important to me in a relationship, and something I've only experienced meaningfully with a few partners. Planets in Earth signs are also very calming and grounding, something an idealist/escapist/over-thinker like me needs in order to get back to reality. But I do need the fire-infusion to keep things exciting and passionate :)
Maintaining a relationship with a Sun Virgo or Taurus also brings a unique set of challenges due to inharmonious aspects with my Sag Sun and Aquarius Moon. My two most important planetary placements have given me a fairly masculine energy in some ways, which are not always conducive to harmonious interactions - I can often be overly direct, coldly analytical, tactless, irritatingly opinionated, selfishly independent (vs interdependent), and insensitively detached. These qualities often make it even harder to have harmonious romantic relationships! Having to navigate the social and professional setting at work for the past 5 years has helped incredibly in learning to express myself in more prosocial ways. And though it's been a while since I've been in a committed long-term relationship, I think that I'd be better at tempering these qualities now. On the flip side, Earth signs are feminine in polarity, so the negative qualities that come out are passive-aggressiveness, hypercriticism, and confounding ambiguousness/vagueness.
These are the things that I think can help bridge these differences if a relationship is worthwhile to both of us:
Tolerance - I am highly tolerant of quirks and tend to like eccentric people.
Empathy - Sometimes I need to express my frustration and anger to get to a point where my perspective is clear enough to see and understand others. But I always get my anger out quickly and forgive just as swiftly.
Mutual admiration - This is something I usually have an easy time with in the beginning, since I tend to idealize people I meet and enhance how impressive they are in my mind. The problem is that I later feel disappointed when they don't live up to the fantasy I've built. Coupled with this is an immense fear that others won't feel the same level of admiration for me. This is related to another topic I'll discuss in my next post, about night charts and western-heavy placements. Basically, it relates to the fact that I'm not good at directly and strongly expressing my persona and tend to shy away from the spot-light, even when I have an audience of just one. It's getting easier for me to do, but I still feel defensive and judged harshly.
Flexibility - I feel that I'm pretty good at this, as long as someone gives me some logical reasons for change that are well-supported (Aquarius Moons are infuriatingly reason-based! Or at least whatever feels reasonable). I can tolerate highly idiosyncratic solutions as long as I believe that they are beneficial, worthy of the effort, and reasonable. And hey, at least I don't have a Libra Moon that would demand strict fairness, no matter who is involved or the details of the situation!
Trust - Even if you had all of the above factors in place, the relationship would fail if you didn't have trust in your partner. I think this has been one of the biggest problems for me in my relationships because I don't trust in the right way. I usually give my trust wholeheartedly as soon as I meet someone that I'm interested in romantically. This hasn't been earned or asked for by the other person. So (because I'm often overly impressed and therefore turning a blind eye to obvious problems, because hey, I love me some quirky eccentric people!), my trust begins to ebb away little by little over subsequent interactions with veritable strangers. I'm quickly disappointed, but still hopeful that the fantasy I've created is real. But eventually, I become bitter and resentful, when really, the other person wasn't actually deceiving me. If I had bothered to be more skeptical and realistic, then I would have known what to expect. My main challenge will be to put aside the fantasies and award trust as it's earned. For now, I'm avoiding any serious dating until I feel more stable in my life and have enough mental and emotional resources to be with someone.
+doodle.jpg)
This is not surprising since I'm a Fire sign and have my DC on Sag. In fact, the two long-term relationships I've had have been with Sag men, two short-term romantic links were also with Sag's, and one was with a Pisces with a Sag Moon. For me, Aries men tend to be too aggressively masculine yet also too sensitive, Leos too show-offy, but can a long-term relationship work with a fire-infused Virgo or Taurus? I've had two short-term relationships with men whose Suns are in each of these signs; the Taurus with a Leo Moon was a much better match for me than the Virgo with an Aries Moon, though both were a pleasing blend of comforting stability and passionate adventurism. Both were also Hispanic, so I'm sort of wondering if this made a difference en la conexión ;)
+Le+Printemps.jpg)
So looking at my chart, what makes me likely to attract or desire earthy men? For one, I only have one planet in an Earth sign, my Mercury in Capricorn. Dating a Virgo or Taurus would balance out this deficit in my life. The Virgo energy also makes a connection with my Gemini Ascendant, both being ruled by Mercury (and mine's in an Earth sign, Cap and in my 7th house of partnerships). Mental chemistry is tremendously important to me in a relationship, and something I've only experienced meaningfully with a few partners. Planets in Earth signs are also very calming and grounding, something an idealist/escapist/over-thinker like me needs in order to get back to reality. But I do need the fire-infusion to keep things exciting and passionate :)
Maintaining a relationship with a Sun Virgo or Taurus also brings a unique set of challenges due to inharmonious aspects with my Sag Sun and Aquarius Moon. My two most important planetary placements have given me a fairly masculine energy in some ways, which are not always conducive to harmonious interactions - I can often be overly direct, coldly analytical, tactless, irritatingly opinionated, selfishly independent (vs interdependent), and insensitively detached. These qualities often make it even harder to have harmonious romantic relationships! Having to navigate the social and professional setting at work for the past 5 years has helped incredibly in learning to express myself in more prosocial ways. And though it's been a while since I've been in a committed long-term relationship, I think that I'd be better at tempering these qualities now. On the flip side, Earth signs are feminine in polarity, so the negative qualities that come out are passive-aggressiveness, hypercriticism, and confounding ambiguousness/vagueness.
These are the things that I think can help bridge these differences if a relationship is worthwhile to both of us:
Tolerance - I am highly tolerant of quirks and tend to like eccentric people.
Empathy - Sometimes I need to express my frustration and anger to get to a point where my perspective is clear enough to see and understand others. But I always get my anger out quickly and forgive just as swiftly.
Mutual admiration - This is something I usually have an easy time with in the beginning, since I tend to idealize people I meet and enhance how impressive they are in my mind. The problem is that I later feel disappointed when they don't live up to the fantasy I've built. Coupled with this is an immense fear that others won't feel the same level of admiration for me. This is related to another topic I'll discuss in my next post, about night charts and western-heavy placements. Basically, it relates to the fact that I'm not good at directly and strongly expressing my persona and tend to shy away from the spot-light, even when I have an audience of just one. It's getting easier for me to do, but I still feel defensive and judged harshly.
Flexibility - I feel that I'm pretty good at this, as long as someone gives me some logical reasons for change that are well-supported (Aquarius Moons are infuriatingly reason-based! Or at least whatever feels reasonable). I can tolerate highly idiosyncratic solutions as long as I believe that they are beneficial, worthy of the effort, and reasonable. And hey, at least I don't have a Libra Moon that would demand strict fairness, no matter who is involved or the details of the situation!
Trust - Even if you had all of the above factors in place, the relationship would fail if you didn't have trust in your partner. I think this has been one of the biggest problems for me in my relationships because I don't trust in the right way. I usually give my trust wholeheartedly as soon as I meet someone that I'm interested in romantically. This hasn't been earned or asked for by the other person. So (because I'm often overly impressed and therefore turning a blind eye to obvious problems, because hey, I love me some quirky eccentric people!), my trust begins to ebb away little by little over subsequent interactions with veritable strangers. I'm quickly disappointed, but still hopeful that the fantasy I've created is real. But eventually, I become bitter and resentful, when really, the other person wasn't actually deceiving me. If I had bothered to be more skeptical and realistic, then I would have known what to expect. My main challenge will be to put aside the fantasies and award trust as it's earned. For now, I'm avoiding any serious dating until I feel more stable in my life and have enough mental and emotional resources to be with someone.
+doodle.jpg)
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