For those of you new to astrology looking for some resources, here's a list of some useful sites and books :)
www.cafeastrology.com
www.astro-horoscopes.com
www.astro.com
http://www.achernar.btinternet.co.uk/fm.html
http://mountainastrologer.com/tma/tma-this-week
Astrology: Understanding the Birth Chart, by Kevin Burk
Astrological Relationship Handbook, by Kevin Burk
Sun Signs, by Linda Goodman
Love Signs, by Linda Goodman
House of the Horoscope, by Bill Herbst
Planets in Synastry, by E.W. Neville
The Twelve Houses, by Howard Sasportas
Power of the Midheaven, by Stephanie Jean Clement
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Earth-bound
It's not until recently that I've noticed a pattern in the sign element that I consistently attract: Earth. This consistency is stranger still because I'm usually fairly inebriated when I approach, or am approached by, dance partners. The Earth elements that I romantically vibe with are overwhelmingly Virgos, and one time a Taurus. They have been very outgoing, sometimes flamboyant guys, very much unlike typical Earth energy. Though I'm realizing now that it's not necessarily the Earth energy that's making us spark, it's the other Fire placements in their charts - Sag Moon, Venus/Merc in Leo, Leo Moon, Aries Moon etc.
This is not surprising since I'm a Fire sign and have my DC on Sag. In fact, the two long-term relationships I've had have been with Sag men, two short-term romantic links were also with Sag's, and one was with a Pisces with a Sag Moon. For me, Aries men tend to be too aggressively masculine yet also too sensitive, Leos too show-offy, but can a long-term relationship work with a fire-infused Virgo or Taurus? I've had two short-term relationships with men whose Suns are in each of these signs; the Taurus with a Leo Moon was a much better match for me than the Virgo with an Aries Moon, though both were a pleasing blend of comforting stability and passionate adventurism. Both were also Hispanic, so I'm sort of wondering if this made a difference en la conexión ;)
+Le+Printemps.jpg)
So looking at my chart, what makes me likely to attract or desire earthy men? For one, I only have one planet in an Earth sign, my Mercury in Capricorn. Dating a Virgo or Taurus would balance out this deficit in my life. The Virgo energy also makes a connection with my Gemini Ascendant, both being ruled by Mercury (and mine's in an Earth sign, Cap and in my 7th house of partnerships). Mental chemistry is tremendously important to me in a relationship, and something I've only experienced meaningfully with a few partners. Planets in Earth signs are also very calming and grounding, something an idealist/escapist/over-thinker like me needs in order to get back to reality. But I do need the fire-infusion to keep things exciting and passionate :)
Maintaining a relationship with a Sun Virgo or Taurus also brings a unique set of challenges due to inharmonious aspects with my Sag Sun and Aquarius Moon. My two most important planetary placements have given me a fairly masculine energy in some ways, which are not always conducive to harmonious interactions - I can often be overly direct, coldly analytical, tactless, irritatingly opinionated, selfishly independent (vs interdependent), and insensitively detached. These qualities often make it even harder to have harmonious romantic relationships! Having to navigate the social and professional setting at work for the past 5 years has helped incredibly in learning to express myself in more prosocial ways. And though it's been a while since I've been in a committed long-term relationship, I think that I'd be better at tempering these qualities now. On the flip side, Earth signs are feminine in polarity, so the negative qualities that come out are passive-aggressiveness, hypercriticism, and confounding ambiguousness/vagueness.
These are the things that I think can help bridge these differences if a relationship is worthwhile to both of us:
Tolerance - I am highly tolerant of quirks and tend to like eccentric people.
Empathy - Sometimes I need to express my frustration and anger to get to a point where my perspective is clear enough to see and understand others. But I always get my anger out quickly and forgive just as swiftly.
Mutual admiration - This is something I usually have an easy time with in the beginning, since I tend to idealize people I meet and enhance how impressive they are in my mind. The problem is that I later feel disappointed when they don't live up to the fantasy I've built. Coupled with this is an immense fear that others won't feel the same level of admiration for me. This is related to another topic I'll discuss in my next post, about night charts and western-heavy placements. Basically, it relates to the fact that I'm not good at directly and strongly expressing my persona and tend to shy away from the spot-light, even when I have an audience of just one. It's getting easier for me to do, but I still feel defensive and judged harshly.
Flexibility - I feel that I'm pretty good at this, as long as someone gives me some logical reasons for change that are well-supported (Aquarius Moons are infuriatingly reason-based! Or at least whatever feels reasonable). I can tolerate highly idiosyncratic solutions as long as I believe that they are beneficial, worthy of the effort, and reasonable. And hey, at least I don't have a Libra Moon that would demand strict fairness, no matter who is involved or the details of the situation!
Trust - Even if you had all of the above factors in place, the relationship would fail if you didn't have trust in your partner. I think this has been one of the biggest problems for me in my relationships because I don't trust in the right way. I usually give my trust wholeheartedly as soon as I meet someone that I'm interested in romantically. This hasn't been earned or asked for by the other person. So (because I'm often overly impressed and therefore turning a blind eye to obvious problems, because hey, I love me some quirky eccentric people!), my trust begins to ebb away little by little over subsequent interactions with veritable strangers. I'm quickly disappointed, but still hopeful that the fantasy I've created is real. But eventually, I become bitter and resentful, when really, the other person wasn't actually deceiving me. If I had bothered to be more skeptical and realistic, then I would have known what to expect. My main challenge will be to put aside the fantasies and award trust as it's earned. For now, I'm avoiding any serious dating until I feel more stable in my life and have enough mental and emotional resources to be with someone.
+doodle.jpg)
This is not surprising since I'm a Fire sign and have my DC on Sag. In fact, the two long-term relationships I've had have been with Sag men, two short-term romantic links were also with Sag's, and one was with a Pisces with a Sag Moon. For me, Aries men tend to be too aggressively masculine yet also too sensitive, Leos too show-offy, but can a long-term relationship work with a fire-infused Virgo or Taurus? I've had two short-term relationships with men whose Suns are in each of these signs; the Taurus with a Leo Moon was a much better match for me than the Virgo with an Aries Moon, though both were a pleasing blend of comforting stability and passionate adventurism. Both were also Hispanic, so I'm sort of wondering if this made a difference en la conexión ;)
+Le+Printemps.jpg)
So looking at my chart, what makes me likely to attract or desire earthy men? For one, I only have one planet in an Earth sign, my Mercury in Capricorn. Dating a Virgo or Taurus would balance out this deficit in my life. The Virgo energy also makes a connection with my Gemini Ascendant, both being ruled by Mercury (and mine's in an Earth sign, Cap and in my 7th house of partnerships). Mental chemistry is tremendously important to me in a relationship, and something I've only experienced meaningfully with a few partners. Planets in Earth signs are also very calming and grounding, something an idealist/escapist/over-thinker like me needs in order to get back to reality. But I do need the fire-infusion to keep things exciting and passionate :)
Maintaining a relationship with a Sun Virgo or Taurus also brings a unique set of challenges due to inharmonious aspects with my Sag Sun and Aquarius Moon. My two most important planetary placements have given me a fairly masculine energy in some ways, which are not always conducive to harmonious interactions - I can often be overly direct, coldly analytical, tactless, irritatingly opinionated, selfishly independent (vs interdependent), and insensitively detached. These qualities often make it even harder to have harmonious romantic relationships! Having to navigate the social and professional setting at work for the past 5 years has helped incredibly in learning to express myself in more prosocial ways. And though it's been a while since I've been in a committed long-term relationship, I think that I'd be better at tempering these qualities now. On the flip side, Earth signs are feminine in polarity, so the negative qualities that come out are passive-aggressiveness, hypercriticism, and confounding ambiguousness/vagueness.
These are the things that I think can help bridge these differences if a relationship is worthwhile to both of us:
Tolerance - I am highly tolerant of quirks and tend to like eccentric people.
Empathy - Sometimes I need to express my frustration and anger to get to a point where my perspective is clear enough to see and understand others. But I always get my anger out quickly and forgive just as swiftly.
Mutual admiration - This is something I usually have an easy time with in the beginning, since I tend to idealize people I meet and enhance how impressive they are in my mind. The problem is that I later feel disappointed when they don't live up to the fantasy I've built. Coupled with this is an immense fear that others won't feel the same level of admiration for me. This is related to another topic I'll discuss in my next post, about night charts and western-heavy placements. Basically, it relates to the fact that I'm not good at directly and strongly expressing my persona and tend to shy away from the spot-light, even when I have an audience of just one. It's getting easier for me to do, but I still feel defensive and judged harshly.
Flexibility - I feel that I'm pretty good at this, as long as someone gives me some logical reasons for change that are well-supported (Aquarius Moons are infuriatingly reason-based! Or at least whatever feels reasonable). I can tolerate highly idiosyncratic solutions as long as I believe that they are beneficial, worthy of the effort, and reasonable. And hey, at least I don't have a Libra Moon that would demand strict fairness, no matter who is involved or the details of the situation!
Trust - Even if you had all of the above factors in place, the relationship would fail if you didn't have trust in your partner. I think this has been one of the biggest problems for me in my relationships because I don't trust in the right way. I usually give my trust wholeheartedly as soon as I meet someone that I'm interested in romantically. This hasn't been earned or asked for by the other person. So (because I'm often overly impressed and therefore turning a blind eye to obvious problems, because hey, I love me some quirky eccentric people!), my trust begins to ebb away little by little over subsequent interactions with veritable strangers. I'm quickly disappointed, but still hopeful that the fantasy I've created is real. But eventually, I become bitter and resentful, when really, the other person wasn't actually deceiving me. If I had bothered to be more skeptical and realistic, then I would have known what to expect. My main challenge will be to put aside the fantasies and award trust as it's earned. For now, I'm avoiding any serious dating until I feel more stable in my life and have enough mental and emotional resources to be with someone.
+doodle.jpg)
Sunday, April 1, 2012
MC in Pisces: Just another man, on the lost highway
I'm a rolling stone,
all alone and lost.
What the hell does having one's MC in Pisces mean anyway? The answer seems to be just as confusing and elusive as the sign of Pisces itself. Maybe the reason why I find it hard to relate to this placement in my chart is precisely bc most of my energy seems to be so very un-Piscean - Sun in Sag, Moon Aqu, AC/DC in Gem/Sag, Mars in Libra... My activity is generally exerted with energies that directly conflict with or lack similarities with Piscean sentiment.
Though I find it hard to clearly interpret this placement, I do feel like it's representative of my career path. Ironically, I actually have a very specific, concrete desire for what I want to pursue: primatology, namely teaching and researching in this field. However, I have yet to get on a direct path to this goal. For years I've worked at another job, teaching in an unrelated field. Every few years I participate in a project within the field of primatology, but I haven't gained any traction. This past Fall I finally gave a decent go at applying to grad programs, but I have been declined by all but one program. Still waiting to hear on the last, but the alternative is more likely - getting into a much less desirable MA program through ITDS.
Having my Sun in the 6th house, I would've thought that my career path would be more stable and path-like. I feel like I've been drifting for years, though I know EXACTLY what I want to do. Perhaps having Uranus square my MC has heaped instability and disruptive influences on my already nebulous, foggy MC in Pisces. I often feel like a ship lost at sea.
So how do I deal with this contradictory influence in my chart? First I want to understand what this placement means, then see what strengths I can draw from positive (and even "negative") aspects. Pisces energy is all about connecting with the universe and surrendering your ego. Pisces is idealistic (like Sag), receptive, and empathetic. Planets in Pisces have difficulty taking direct action, so at least I only have an angle in this sign (can you tell that Pisces if my least favorite sign? Cap isn't far behind it). And it's ruled by a strongly dignified Jupiter in Sag conjunct my Sun. So while my Pisces MC is all about sacrifice and caring about others, it's invisibly connected to my ego and fulfillment (esp with Sun in the 6th house). I suppose the kind of work I'd be happy with would involve helping others, working towards a common goal with others, being of service, exploring ideas that apply in a broad sense. So far primatology seems to fit okay with this (even better if I could get more excited about primate conservation, though it's just not all that interesting to my Moon in Aqu just yet).
Having my Uranus squaring my MC is uncomfortable, but Kevin Burk (my favorite astrologist) always says that squares get you off your ass to do something about them. Uranus might also help me pursue unconventional paths or thoughts, which I think is something I'd need to keep in check so I don't wind up wasting to much time getting lost or running into dead ends. My Mercury in Cap is sextile my MC, which is sort of weakly helpful. At least it's not in conflict! My Venus in Scorpio (and in Detriment, how useful!) is trine my MC. Not sure how all this watery sentimentality is supposed to help me pursue primatology. I suppose Scorpio energy can help keep me focused and committed. Saturn in Scorpio has a wider orb trine that may lend some staying power to my efforts.
I still don't get how to bridge the gulf btw my masculine luminaries and my feminine/watery life path. Working at this teaching job may be the closest I've gotten so far - I have been able to take initiative with and general control of lesson plans and behavior mods, plus I have had employees that I could give direction to (I have mixed feelings about managing others - I like to teach, but not to "mange"). And yet overall, the theme has been for me to be of service, helping students to improve their reading and comprehension skills, helping to increase their confidence and self-esteem. It's really been the best of both sides. I just don't feel like this is my ultimate destination. I've been offered promotions twice now, but the next level involves much more marketing (I'd rather be poor!). I feel pulled towards something greater, involving more adventure and novelty. A career teaching and researching abroad is what I've wanted for nearly a decade now. Maybe I'll finally get there in the next decade.
 |
| Titi monkey chowing down on lluvia de oro! |
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Psyche in Sagittarius: Me Gustas
Worldly/foreign men: Indians (junior high), elves (high school), nerds (college/early 20s), Hispanics (now).
There are several positions in my chart that turn this blue-eyed she-devil's blue eyes abroad. Most obviously my Aquarian Moon in the 9th house of travel. My Sun Sag (pronounced Saj plz!) and DC in Sag are in cahoots with my Moon on this, too. As happens every few months, I got bored just staring at my chart, willing my eyes to notice something interesting. So I rechecked some major asteroid positions (Eros, Psyche) and rediscovered my Psyche in Sagittarius. I couldn't really recall what Psyche was about (Eros is much easier to remember for this Venus Scorp/Scorp Vertex gal), so I looked up an interpretation:
PSYCHE IN SAGITTARIUS: Attracted to someone worldly, ethnically diverse, philosophically-oriented, and free-spirited. They are able to give others the freedom to be who they really are.
For pubescent me, this meant Indian men for some reason. Idk why this was the first type I fantasized about. I guess hispanic/black/asian men were too present in my everyday life to be exotic enough. Though how I got to thinking about Indian men particularly is a mystery. BUT, I do remember discovering "Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love" was a wellspring for my virginal fantasies.
After seeing LOTR, I became obsessed with Legolas and all things man-elf. Who could be more fucking worldly than an elf?! That's alternate reality worldly, there's no beating that! Unfortunately there were no elves for me to throw myself at so this phase didn't last very long.
My initial college years were spent at an extremely nerdy liberal arts school full of more quirky, witty nerd boys than I had ever encountered in all of SocalOCland. Definitely exotic compared to the bros back home!
And as of last year, my new type is the hispanic man. It was sparked by a 6 month fling/relationship thing with a guy from Spain. Unfortunately he had to return home to finish his PhD (I like dem that talk perty), and I left for Bolivia to study monkeys for 3 months. While there, I of course had a short-term relationship with a native Bolivian. I learned that Latin American Spanish is a smidgen sexier than Spanish from Espana. Since then I had that glorified pen pal/maintenance relationship with Mr. Puerto Rico. Oh and just before I left for Bolivia, but while I wasn't seeing Spanish guy for a while, I met a guy from Brazil. No sparks there though. Interesting fact - all the Spanish speaking guys were Earth Sun signs with Fire Moon signs - Taurus/Leo, Virgo/Aries, Virgo/Sag. Still haven't met a Cap guy that I'm interested in, though.
So what's the next type of exotic man that I'll fantasize about? Maybe the mythical dateable man?
There are several positions in my chart that turn this blue-eyed she-devil's blue eyes abroad. Most obviously my Aquarian Moon in the 9th house of travel. My Sun Sag (pronounced Saj plz!) and DC in Sag are in cahoots with my Moon on this, too. As happens every few months, I got bored just staring at my chart, willing my eyes to notice something interesting. So I rechecked some major asteroid positions (Eros, Psyche) and rediscovered my Psyche in Sagittarius. I couldn't really recall what Psyche was about (Eros is much easier to remember for this Venus Scorp/Scorp Vertex gal), so I looked up an interpretation:
PSYCHE IN SAGITTARIUS: Attracted to someone worldly, ethnically diverse, philosophically-oriented, and free-spirited. They are able to give others the freedom to be who they really are.
For pubescent me, this meant Indian men for some reason. Idk why this was the first type I fantasized about. I guess hispanic/black/asian men were too present in my everyday life to be exotic enough. Though how I got to thinking about Indian men particularly is a mystery. BUT, I do remember discovering "Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love" was a wellspring for my virginal fantasies.
After seeing LOTR, I became obsessed with Legolas and all things man-elf. Who could be more fucking worldly than an elf?! That's alternate reality worldly, there's no beating that! Unfortunately there were no elves for me to throw myself at so this phase didn't last very long.
My initial college years were spent at an extremely nerdy liberal arts school full of more quirky, witty nerd boys than I had ever encountered in all of SocalOCland. Definitely exotic compared to the bros back home!
And as of last year, my new type is the hispanic man. It was sparked by a 6 month fling/relationship thing with a guy from Spain. Unfortunately he had to return home to finish his PhD (I like dem that talk perty), and I left for Bolivia to study monkeys for 3 months. While there, I of course had a short-term relationship with a native Bolivian. I learned that Latin American Spanish is a smidgen sexier than Spanish from Espana. Since then I had that glorified pen pal/maintenance relationship with Mr. Puerto Rico. Oh and just before I left for Bolivia, but while I wasn't seeing Spanish guy for a while, I met a guy from Brazil. No sparks there though. Interesting fact - all the Spanish speaking guys were Earth Sun signs with Fire Moon signs - Taurus/Leo, Virgo/Aries, Virgo/Sag. Still haven't met a Cap guy that I'm interested in, though.
So what's the next type of exotic man that I'll fantasize about? Maybe the mythical dateable man?
Me gusta mucho Gael García Bernal.
Venus in Scorpio: license to ho
"Yeah, men should be wanting you. No need to pursue them. If you have to pursue them, they suck."
It's both the sexiest and the most crippling position in my chart. Venus in Scorpio... conjunct Pluto. Add to this my mutual deception with Mars in Libra and, well...
That's not exactly true. I know exactly what I'm doing, I just have a hard time NOT doing it. It all starts with Neptune on my DC - every friend and romantic interest is automatically idealized as whatever I currently want. Make friends with a cool girl, we're gonna be super best friends! So many adventures in clubland/dateland await us *GRIN* Meet a cute guy that seems intelligent and fun, I am already fantasizing about how adorable you find my lack of cooking skills (VERY).
The next phase involves an all out Scorpionic pursuit. My Sun in Sag and Moon in Aqu cool the passion somewhat and my Venus' fixed sign pride tries to appear nonchalant. Which is actually pretty easy bc current Mr. Wonderful doesn't know that I'm checking my text/email every hour for any new communication just to feed my twitterpation. Eventually though, my desire to connect overpowers my pride and I'll find any excuse to talk to my new interest if too much time has passed (around day is normal, right?).
Typically, I take up with guys that are equally interested, so I don't have to embarrass myself too badly. But recently I crossed paths with a ridiculously attractive narcissist and realized after a few weeks that things were never actually going to go anywhere (what guy texts a girl erratically for weeks, sends her a pic of his bedroom, but doesn't try to get in bed with her?!). I was merely his narcissistic supply feeding his weird ego needs. It was empowering for my Venus in Scorp to cut him loose (I was suuuuuuuuper mature about it even, bc my Mars in Libra is kind of a pussy...). "You disappeared!!" Yep Mr. hot Puerto Rican narcissist, you're incredibly unreliable and lack follow through. Though my Venus in Scorp still holds this retarded hope that he'll figure his shit out and contact me again.
Ha! Found an article that perfectly describes my situation: I was being "e-maintained." Didn't even get a hookup, which is both good and disappointing. At least my demanding Venus in Scorp only allowed me to waste 3 weeks on this BS.
It's both the sexiest and the most crippling position in my chart. Venus in Scorpio... conjunct Pluto. Add to this my mutual deception with Mars in Libra and, well...
That's not exactly true. I know exactly what I'm doing, I just have a hard time NOT doing it. It all starts with Neptune on my DC - every friend and romantic interest is automatically idealized as whatever I currently want. Make friends with a cool girl, we're gonna be super best friends! So many adventures in clubland/dateland await us *GRIN* Meet a cute guy that seems intelligent and fun, I am already fantasizing about how adorable you find my lack of cooking skills (VERY).
The next phase involves an all out Scorpionic pursuit. My Sun in Sag and Moon in Aqu cool the passion somewhat and my Venus' fixed sign pride tries to appear nonchalant. Which is actually pretty easy bc current Mr. Wonderful doesn't know that I'm checking my text/email every hour for any new communication just to feed my twitterpation. Eventually though, my desire to connect overpowers my pride and I'll find any excuse to talk to my new interest if too much time has passed (around day is normal, right?).
Typically, I take up with guys that are equally interested, so I don't have to embarrass myself too badly. But recently I crossed paths with a ridiculously attractive narcissist and realized after a few weeks that things were never actually going to go anywhere (what guy texts a girl erratically for weeks, sends her a pic of his bedroom, but doesn't try to get in bed with her?!). I was merely his narcissistic supply feeding his weird ego needs. It was empowering for my Venus in Scorp to cut him loose (I was suuuuuuuuper mature about it even, bc my Mars in Libra is kind of a pussy...). "You disappeared!!" Yep Mr. hot Puerto Rican narcissist, you're incredibly unreliable and lack follow through. Though my Venus in Scorp still holds this retarded hope that he'll figure his shit out and contact me again.
Ha! Found an article that perfectly describes my situation: I was being "e-maintained." Didn't even get a hookup, which is both good and disappointing. At least my demanding Venus in Scorp only allowed me to waste 3 weeks on this BS.
Let the blogging begin!
I've lost interest in every blog I've attempted to maintain, but my roommate said that if I started a blog on astrology, she would read it. So far, I feel the need to write all this out in a text doc and then edit until the words I've written have no meaning before finally pasting what's left onto here. LET THE FUN BEGIN!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)